So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
