I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
