Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
