The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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