Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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