you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
