So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did you just see the Batmobile???
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize