You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Help me help you realize you are a moron
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
