I wannas sexs uuuuu
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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