I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
