the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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