I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
