I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm passing your future prison.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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