apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
