You made me cry and you don't even care
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize