considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
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Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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