So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
