I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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