Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
