I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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