they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
love makes seman taste better
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
