Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
