I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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