im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
