yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
