everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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