I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
