if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
