I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
