So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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