why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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