Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
