Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
