make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
