It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
