They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she told me i tasted like america
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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