I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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