Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
