you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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