Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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