You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
