Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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