what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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