Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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