the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
