Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Randomize
