I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just gargled with NyQuil
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
