I wish I could punch you in the face.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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