Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
