then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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