You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im holly from the hills drunk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
