windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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