i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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