We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You smell like stripper and shame
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
