The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
