Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
