WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
