He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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