sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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