So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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