I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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