you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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