You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
