one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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