its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
